When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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