I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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