Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
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He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
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Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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