This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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