I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize