I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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