BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
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oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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