Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you will always have a special place in my vag
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize