so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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