Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize