OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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