I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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