you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
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She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
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Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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