Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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