oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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