i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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