Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
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Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
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Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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