you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Less talking, more tequila
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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