he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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