there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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