It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
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Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
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He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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