So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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