I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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