i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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