I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize