He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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