I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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