He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
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We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
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I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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