Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize