rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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