Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize