I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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