I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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