We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
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Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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