I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
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Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I did not marry a roomba.
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