But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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