So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
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shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
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Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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