I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize