Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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