this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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