I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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