Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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