meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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