My first STD was from a foam party
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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