we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
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You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
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One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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