Ambien. No doubt about it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize