no, he came in my armpit
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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