my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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