So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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