Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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